A few sessions in, when working privately with a coaching client, we are typically starting to review their values. They’ve spent a week or two doing small exercises and day by day noticing what moves them and writing it down. We go through these one by one and discuss each at length.
Invariably, from a list of twenty, four or five of those values are not how they live their life. They don’t represent who they are. They are what they want to hear or what they think I want to hear. They are values that they “should find important,” even if they don’t resonate with them at all.
Generally, it’s values like kindness, happiness, family, etc. The values we think should be meaningful, whether essential to us or not. All this comes down to is our fear of being judged, our inner critics, and our saboteurs. They all work hand in hand, and not in a good way, to steer our lives.
I mean, what would I think of you if you didn’t have family and happiness as a top value?! Turns out, it doesn’t matter to me what your values are, but it should matter to you. Authenticity. Being authentic to yourself when doing these exercises is paramount to their success. To your success.
See you on the journey…
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